Friday, June 13, 2003

more of Lisa's poems...

I feel like I'm falling...
down a spiral staircase hitting my head on the metal hard as I go around...with you
But unlike last time
This time I can't seem to get back up and dust off
I just lie there on the floor
Body aching, but wearing a big stupid smile.
Why do people put themselves in relationships that they know will fail?
I mean, I'm not trying to be profound here but, a higher percentage of newlyweds end in divorce and in a time where prenups are a must I have to wonder what happened to death do us part.
Yet here I am.
The hopeless romantic, a dying breed.
And I still hold onto the dream
That someday a man will come and sweep me off my feet.
And we'll travel the world together, watching sunsets in Bali and sipping champagne in Spain.
And then grow old together, and still be madly in love.
I know I sound so naive and girlish when I put out these needs, but I want a man that will write me poetry
Leave little notes on my car just to say hello
And bring me flowers, bought or fresh, just because he knows I'd like that.
I'm taking my chance in lust and love
throwing my heart out on my sleeve
All I want is someone who when I fall,
He'll catch me
But then fall too.

This overcoming wave of sleep washes over me as I think...of you
and how I want to hold you in my arms.
And NEVER let you go.
Hold you tight, everything allright...
please please please please please please....don't let go.
and while I hold you
I want our energy to become one
Molded together until our bodies are so hot it's like fire on ice
I want to run the stars through your hair, and not care what time the clock says
And when you trace circles in the spine of my back, it sends chills down my body, even to the spots that we can't talk about in public
Even the smell of your hair would stop time, and I could seriously do anything with you
No matter how horrible, if you're there, it's a good time.
You could own me.
Have me eating out of the palm of your hand, yet you don't even know it.
Cause I don't want to be in charge of a relationship anymore.
I want to be the woman for once
Pay for me and open car doors, tell me how pretty my eyes are and that I have a cute nose who knows how far you could go cause I fall for that kind of shit...
I fall hard.
Your like my midas touch
Everything is golden...
Till I realize how silent and alone I feel

Im posting my poems!

Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to play Chopin
So, at the tender age of four I said,
"Mommy I wanna play piano," and she said that it was o.k. but I had to promise her one thing
That I would stick with it
Like all little girls I got bored and instead of ivory keys wanted Barbie's Malibu dreams, ice cream, and dress up and now must fess up that piano was just another thing I never finished.
My mother would send me upstairs to practice and I would give my best I don't give a damn glare and think, "well FU piano...and Chopin."
Sophmore year came, and I finally quite piano
And I still can't play a damn piece of Chopin.
As I glance around my room at barely touched guitars and amps
Silent dust drums and I realize...
I never finish what I start
From music to diets to boyfriends...
I may come back around and change
But I never finish
I've been on every diet, tried every hobby from rock tumbling to horseback riding
And I've dated the same guy...three times
I'm starting to realize that I've accomplished nothing
I can't play piano, drums, or guitar
I haven't had a meaningful relationship
and I'm currently on Weight Watchers with a target of 31 points per day
So just like everything else in my life
I'm not going to finish this poem
cause I've run out of things to say...

Thursday, June 12, 2003

This is Lisa...i will post my poems later tonight=) sorry for the delay, im a slacker...the slam went well...aprox. 54 people came, give or take a few, and i think it went really well... i too love Phuc's poetry, it makes me laugh, but when reading for an audience, you want to be carefull no to offend people, and that is what Phuc did so the outcome was a given=) also the random wadi worker that read open mic was Mitch and he is actually a regular at Wadi, and he poem was really good. I'll keep posted on when the next slam will be and if it will have any theme or details...probably will be in early July before I leave for Spain so i'll keep the info coming...Have a great summer and everyone keep safe! talk to ya later! -Lisa

Monday, June 09, 2003

Educated Rap by Sibo Lin

The 1500 on the SAT
is not enough
gotta get a perfect
to make my college application look buff

This past week has been a
travesty of summer break
Most people are lethargic and sleep in
But I had to stay wide awake

Cuz' I had to study
and memorize words so long
that when I rap with these words
you can't sing along!

A toady is not an amphibian at all but a yes man
A toady is perfidious, mendacious, and profligate

I love to masticate. MasTIcate, which means I ate.

Hey, I got an idea,
We ain't nothing but mammals
so let's masticate like the simians do it on the discovery channel

And afterwards we may give out flatulence
which will be noisome and malodorous
but it's all good, as long as it's just the two of us

And afterwards we can abscond
and our odor can make a man wan

a wan man can't tan, so he has to resort to chicanery and
spray on a tan

I know you can't understand a word I'm saying
but don't be diffident, try to understand the missive
that I'm conveying

if a wan man can't tan, and he cheats to get a tan, he loses.

so don't cheat for the SAT.
learn lots of new words.
and give your own educated rap.

June 7th Poetry Slam at the Wadi Cafe Recap

Contestants were (in performance order): Tara Zuber, Sibo Lin, Phuc Nguyen, Brittany Temme, Sunil Patel, and Lisa White. Finals were Lisa and I, and it was a tie (prizes went to me because Lisa didn't want them). Brittany Gerteisen, Alex Reising, Amy Reitz, a worker from Wadi, and Phuc performed during open mic. Alex won the "Best Listener" award for his wonderful haiku. Phuc won the "Most Conceited" award, haha. I dunno, I loved Phuc's poetty even though parts were offensive.

Tara performed a poem about "Why I should not Slam" and then performed her "America Needs a Fantasy" which is in Signature School's 2002-2003 yearbook. I performed "My Dream Job", "Mutant Pride", and "Machismo", and I had an "Educated Rap" ready to perform in case I needed a fourth poem. I'll post that later. Phuc performed "Hire Me" and "Baby Love". Then during open mic he performed "Twinkie Girl" and "Translation". Temme performed some poetry I can't remember the names of. Sunil thought the poetry slam was a rap battle. He wrote an impromptu poem about Tara, my, Phuc, and Temme's poems. It didn't fly well with the judges. Lisa performed poems that I can't remember the names of either. But she'll post the title's and poems later I'm sure.

If anyone has any critiques on the performance of any of my poetry (listed below), constructive or Simonesque, IM me (sn: seebol). IM hate messages to Phuc at sn: superheroe2002.

For the record: I personally love Phuc's poetry, even though I recognize parts are offensive. And despite some extremely strange similarities between our poems, we did not collaborate at all on this slam.


Sunday, June 08, 2003

Sibo Lin's poems from the June 7th Wadi Slam

My Dream Job

What would you like today
Would you like fries with that order
Would you like to Super Size that
Would you like to try our new gourmet salads?

They say
that McDonalds is always hiring
Hiring with no discrimation based on age, gender, race, religion, or hairstyle
An equal opportunity employer

That is crap!
I applied for a job there last summer
And obviously, I am qualified to serve
the American People their McChickens
I would have even dressed up as Ronald McDonald if the job required it
But I was not offered a job.

From Mc-freaking-Donalds.

That's wrong! Wrong like Dr. Phil giving advice on love! Wrong like Walmart selling sexy lingerie!

Yes, I know
that is sad
But my rejection from McDonalds was really a blessing in disguise
I am now free to pursue higher career aspirations
And with your help, I can fulill my lifelong dream:

To become a professional video gamer

I could play video games
all day
all night
pausing only to take swigs of Mountain Dew
a.k.a. liquid caffeine
and to switch games after I whoop King Koopa
for the 108th time

You may think that video games are worthless
But according to a study presented by Reuters News Service of May 29th 2003
Video games improve hand-eye coordination and
"visual processing skills"
which means that the single most important factor in my passing ISTEP
was countless hours of nonstop Tetris

You may think that video games promote violence and crime
You're just afraid I'll kick your butt in Mario Party
Or blow your head off in Goldeneye

You give video games a bad name because
you suck at them
Your coordination is so screwed up
you can't get past the 2nd level of Dance Dance Revoultion
Your aim is so horrible
you couldn't hit the broad side of
a virtual flock of pheasants

While you're stuck on King Koopa
I've become the ruler of 6 different virtual worlds
And you are jealous
of my skills

In the world of video games
I always win!
I am Mario
And you are just Luigi!

Admit it
You are ashamed of your gaming ability

But I can help

For minimum wage
I will teach you the ways of the gaming Jedi

I am a 4.0 student with a strong extracurricular background
I have solid recommendations
And I have not been convicted of a federal offense or misdemeanor in the last two years

Just please
Give me a job!

Mutant Pride

"Ladies and Gentlemen
The Truth is that mutants are very real, and they are among us
We must know who they are
and, above all, what they can do"

X-Men 2 is a freaking masterpiece.
Forget the Titanic with its 11 Academy Awards.
X-Men 2 is simply the best movie ever.

It's not just a bunch of superheroes fighting supervillians
with their superpowers
In order to ensure the future of supranational organizations such as the UN

It's a story that we witness every day. A story of man fearing man. Man hating man. Man attacking man. All because man can be religiously, culturally, or genetically intolerant.

Don't hate me because I have a beautiful Asian tan. I promise, I won't hate you for your white skin. We're all different. We're all mutants.

And deep down there are mutant powers that we all possess
And supress, hide
for fear of being seen as weak

Sure, we don't have telekinesis like Dr. Jean Gray
the power to physically move things with our mind
But we can have compassion
the power to move mankind

We can't control the weather like Storm
Or blast through obstacles like Cyclops
But we can weather the bumps on the road of life

We can't physically heal from a brawl as quickly as Logan
But we can mend our relationships and forget our fights with two simple words
"I'm sorry"

I'm sorry for anyone who has not embraced their individuality
We are all different.
We are all mutants.
And the greatest mutant power of all is
accepting who you are

Mutation. It is the key to our humanity. It has allowed us to evolve from cavemen into a fusion of different cultures and people. The test is if these different people can use their mutant powers of compassion, resiliancy, and forgiveness peacefully. This process is slow, normally facing stiff resistence from the social order. But every few millenia, evolution leaps forward.


I have a confession
I used to enjoy watching romantic comedies
a.k.a. "chick flicks"
But when a girl informed me that any movie with Adam Sandler in it
cannot be romantic
I realized the true definition of a chick flick--

A chick flick is a movie that girls in general love
but guys would rather waste an hour of their free time going to the dentist
than watching a chick flick

I know.
Last week I watched
A Walk to Remember
a chick flick
Starring Mandy Moore as an impossibly beautiful
but unpopular girl in the jungle of high school

If you have not seen this movie yet, please cover your ears for the next 10 seconds as I rant about its hackneyed plot

To make a long story short, Mandy Moore falls in love with the cool guy
who in turn sacrifices his popularity to be with her
She then reveals that she is dying from terminal cancer
and will die in a year
But the cool guy-turned-caring boyfriend stays by her side and even gets married to her

how romantic

No. More like "how painful." More like "would you like the grape-flavored flouride or orange-flavored flouride shoved into your mouth as you gag for the next 101 minutes."

After watching A Walk to Remember I've had enough chick-flavored flick to last me a lifetime. I mean, why do the girl and the guy always have to fall madly in love with each other at the end. Why can't they do something cool, like dodge bullets and blow up stuff.

That is why I'm going to invent my own film genre. Instead of the "chick flick," the box office will be dominated by
"macho movies."

You may think action movies have enough machismo as it is
But trust me, there can be more

The Matrix Reloaded was good

but imagine if Neo, instead of using a puny pistol,
packed a rocket-propelled grenade launcher
capable of blowing up all 200 copies of Agent Smith

imagine if Trinity could
grow adamentium claws and slash her way to Neo's arms
her true love

How cool would that be!
Nothing would compare with The Matrix: Macho Edition

And the Macho Revolution will be lead by the most macho of all action heroes.

That's right!
Watch out Charlie's Angels!
The Sibonator is in town.
And I'm going to make you pay
for the pain you have inflicted on guys all around the world.

Phuc Nguyen's poems from the June 7th Wadi Slam

Hire Me

I’m sure a number of you have pondered this question many times before.
“mann…where am I going to get a job?”
“It’s summer baby! And I can’t get any…job that is”
And if you and I are asking the very same question, you know where I’m going here
I’m going to a land where high school students are getting screwed in the behind
Where they are promised of jobs from ads across the newspaper,
But then…
only to find the job has been filled.
My job frustration has taken over any sanity left in me.
My vision has been blurred.
I’m beginning to mistake the ugly girls for the pretty girls
The gay guys for straight.
And Asians boys as whities.
How much more injustice will this society allow?
Whatever happens to “equal employment opportunity?”
Now I’m not going to:
…or act like a premature teenage girl.
I just want a chance…
You act like you own the place!
MY daddy knows kung fu (karate moves)… wait until I tell him what you’re doing to me
Rejecting me!?
Can’t touch this!
But honestly…I am not here
To scare you
Intimidate you
Give me a chance…
I’ll show you that your investment in me will not be put to waste.
I’m a universal kind of guy. Multi-cultural
You need a religious man? Please consider me
I’m a Christian, a Buddhist, Lutheran, oh heck I’ll be whatever fits your needs.
You need someone who will fit your schedule?
I’m flexible baby. I’ll bend any directions you want. Just give me a chance
With me, you got 30 days no risk in home free trial.
What more can you ask for…you simply can’t loose.
You like breakfast in bed? I can do that!
Prefer your meals on a cool summer beach? I’ll take you there!
I’m like your Mastercard, priceless.
Hire me…limited time offer only.
My parents said I can’t work during the school year.

Baby Love

In the beginning, I thought loving a girl is like putting on deodorant.
Sooner or later it’s going to loose its protective ingredients.
My elementary school years were just that…
Cept I didn’t use deodorant back then, I loved girls after girls.
Many walked out of my life as sudden as they came.
Her name was Summer. Summer, from what I can remember, was your plain average looking schoolgirl. Blonde hair—blue eyes—no brown eyes—hmm is that even possible?
Well it really doesn’t matter what she looked like.
She caught my attention and I--
I fell victim to baby love.
I was a baby swimming amidst a pool of elementary beauties.
By the middle of 5th grade year, I was attracted with 5 different girls at once.
Their legs
Smooth with not tint of hair.
They didn’t need to shave, cause there was really nothing…there
My peaceful world turned upside down as I entered middle school
Ohhh how I remember these girls!
Like animals!
Too hairy for my taste
Some even had mustaches. While at the time…even I didn’t have one.
Man! I felt as if I was in a jungle.
Full of wild creatures who thought winter was a special holiday made for not shaving.
And to add to this…these girls thought they were cool when they shook they bon bons at school dances.
I did not see them as cool…
All I saw were rebel girls…wanting to bend
and put their freaks on. Freak dancing they called it.
I was not impressed by how they pounced the floor.
The cheerleaders for the basketball team came in all shapes and sizes.
And I do mean all shapes and sizes.
The whole geometry class was on the cheerleading squad.
You’ve got girls looking like a cube,
Your triangle
…jelly doughnuts
…and shapes with so many sides I just had to stop counting.
It was more like a self-esteem booster.
I could not handle it.
So that is why I did not attend more than 3 games during middle school.
Her name was Kim Russell. She was the best of my middle school days.
Was an exception to your average everyday middle love.
But friends we became…what could’ve didn’t.
Girls flashed out of my mind like kicking little puppies…
Quick and easy.
That’s how I like love baby.
But that was then and this is now.
I now realize that girls aren’t sticks of Old Spice I rub underneath my arm pits.
These young ladies have feelings.
And I…I’ve fallen victim for girls such as Kensington Blaylock
Kensington baby, you’ve got more curves than the race tracks of the Indy 500.
So how about it Kensington, lets save water. Shower with a friend.
Her name is Brittany Kristen Temme. BKT.
Though I like to refer her as my sex cell…sex gamete.
This girl rocked my world, turned mad hell into ice, and would make a preacher cursed by the size of her…uhhh…enough said.
She is my high school sweetheart!
The kind where you will tell your grandkids about.
A star that will shine ever so brightly.
Brittany baby, all I need is a little piece and quiet.
So give me a piece and I'll be quiet!
Because your booty is outta this world.

Twinkie Girl

I said HEY YOU twinkie girl and you got mad at me.
You called me a no good…son of a b.!
And if that was not enough, you continue to humiliate me…
Flicked me off with the very finger you picked your nose with.
You are special baby. The first I’ve ever seen.
You broke my heart…played with my emotions…
You act like a nun…always wearing the black and white.
You said black and white are colors with symbolism…
Black representing the mysterious side of you
White representing the angelic spirit within you…
Cut the crap and kiss me.
I called you my “American Pie” and you got mad me!
You said “pies don’t taste good”
Baby…my pies don’t come with holes.
I asked you if I could have the directions to your heart?
And you said "Yes…you make a left at 'Hell No' Ave. and keep going straight 'til you get to 'F.U.' Blvd.
Don’t you love me
Short and sweet, hard to beat.
Why so cruel?
Smacked me down like I’m a blonde.
I called you my Virgin marry and you got mad at me.
Accusing me of being a hater
A playa.
I said girllll love me.
Homie G girl. You got to feel me.
What is love…loves hurts.


Have you ever been in a Chinese restaurant and the waitress asks you a question
Or make a comment about you with grins on her face…
But yet you have no clue what the heck she is saying?
So you just nod repeatedly
Deep down you are going…
And you feel stupid!
Well I’d like to take this opportunity to translate some of the more commonly used phrases in a Chinese restaurant.
For example, when she asks you “hahha ohhhhh what’s up jiggas?”
She’s merely saying “table for 4 and I see 3 asians they must want water and a white boy—he will get a Coke”
Now we come to the part after she brought your food
And decides to stop by and say “ehhhh..ehh…tub not full?”
Well that’s basically saying “tip me or I will flat your tires.”
Ladies and Gentlemen please tip. They are vicious.
While eating you happen to ease drop on a conversation she is having with another co-worker and notice she is looking at you.
And this is what you heard “ohh mi mama es tu pappa”… or so you thought
You ask yourself…Spanish???
This can’t be!
Translation baby. This is what she’s saying “MAN! That’s one fat white kid…his butt cheeks are size of my mom and your dad.”
And who can forget the time when she comes out and offers you refills
…and says “say whaaa—jigga whaa??”
It took me 3 years and 54 visits to finally understand what she was saying.
She said “Yo-yo yo!!! FAT KID! CHEAP ASIANS! Would YOU like a Refill?”
I was shocked and awed!
She called me cheap!
It hurt…
When you finally finished and had already paid for your meals…she gives you each a fortune cookie
…and says “Jamaican me crazy”
Your first impulse is to say ‘hmm….she’s hitting on me?”
NOooo wrong my friend…
Translation “Booty boy (referring to the white kid)….you gotta lose some weight.”
Respect your Chinese waitress.